Matt and I made our first ever, from scratch lasagna for the occasion.  It was pretty much amazing and now my favorite lasagna of all time!  Too bad it was so much work to create cause it might not be happening again for a while!

Rea was/is still recovering from RSV so she took a little nap during the party and then crashed before all her guests left.  Poor girl!  She was a blast though!  She started into her cake before we had even finished singing to her!  That’s my girl!

Rea was born during the snow storm last year, so it only seemed fitting to give her dinner a “winter ONE-derland” theme, except it was like 70 degrees here this year! Ha!  Here are some pictures from our evening:

p.s. The last picture is a pretty common theme to all our dinners with family.  At some point, my boys decide to start a wrestling match and its just a matter of who their victims may be!  Soooooo watch out BOYS!  Gotta love them!

Happy birthday Reagan!!  This year went by way too fast, as I am sure they all will.  We love you so much and count ourselves so blessed to your parents!!  The Lord has great plans for you sweet girl and we are honored to walk with you as you discover them!

So excited to celebrate you TODAY!!!

This week I have a sick baby…again or should I say still?  I don’t know how many times my kids have already been sick this winter.  She is doing better today, but yesterday she literally fell asleep in my arms twice and in Matt’s once.  That hasn’t happened since she was like five months old.  In between her naps she cried all day and wanted held.  I CHARISHED those moments of holding her and rubbing her hair and back while rocking her.  It was so sweet.  As well as sweet…it was draining.

I felt zapped last night.  I think what makes this job so hard is it’s all emotional.  Yeah its got physical asspects…where you never get to sit and you eat lunch at the counter while making the kids lunch and in between stopping to change a diaper or throw a load of laundry in while everyone is happy.  Yes, you don’t get much sleep at times.  It is definitely a physical challenge, but to me the hardest part is the emotional.  There are high highs and low lows.  Plus, you are always questioning.  Do you go to the doctor?  Do you not?  My latest is all the million times a day I hear “mom, can you come here?”, “mom, can you get me ___?”, “mom, will you help me ___?” how do I respond?  I like to think I say “yes” most of the time, but I know I say “just a minute”, “after I finish this___”, “please be patient, in a little bit” quite a lot because my kids now say those phrases.  I don’t like it, but I don’t know what the balance is.  If you always stop folding a load of clothes, emptying the dishwasher, whatever it may be at the drop of a hat…than aren’t you fostering little demanding, dependent, spoiled kids? But if you don’t stop what you are doing for them, are you sending the message that “tasks” are more important than they are?  I just don’t know.  I always wonder if I am doing the right thing…and the answer is I just don’t know.

So, all this to say…my title is fuel.  We need it.  Having sick kids and crazy schedules can make it hard to have that community that we all need.  Being a stay at home mom can be lonely, so we all need to build into our selves and refuel our little souls to have energy to give our kids our all.  Crafting and running are two things I love to find a refuel in.  Let’s be honest…its been hard the last two months to stay in the running routine with it getting dark at 5:00 and being so cold…so its been mostly crafting.  Here are a few Christmas presents that I loved making…

1.  Pictures of my kids and each of my nieces (two diff sets of these) for their grandparents spelling out LOVE

2.  Ornaments!  Grandkids ones, first christmas ones, first christmas married ones…lots of sanding to make these cute babies

3.  My sister-in-law did the World Race last year where she went to 11 countries in 11 months…amazing story!  Well, this quilt I made her of fabrics she collected on her trip.

4.  I made Emily a shirt that I’m sure she will wear out all the time…or just when she wants to clean as part of a leaving gift.

5.  My hubby helped me with this one.  It’s a good thing to have an editor around!  I watched all my home videos and caught the parts that we had footage with Emily and her family…and matt edited them all together for me.  It was like three hours of footage when we were done!

6.  A photo shoot of my kids and my niece, Natalie, in the pajamas that their BeBe made them.  She loved the picture we gave her which I can’t find now, but it was a tad better than this one

7.  Couldn’t have an opportunity to give gifts and not give some hair bows away!  This was Reagan’s Christmas bow.

8.  More ornaments!

9.  And the last one I have captured is a fabric ball I made for each of my nieces.

Life is so good.  As hard as it can be at times…it is so good.  So chin up (as Charlotte the Spider would say) stay at home moms…love those little ones and the ones you have around you, and we will be refueled by the one who has Conquered Love for us all!

Here is a recap of our Saturday (New Year’s Eve):

• I took the kiddos to see A Dolphin Tale at the dollar theater with my dad (G-pops)
• Rea and I spent a good portion of the movie in the lobby  She enjoyed pushing the stroller around as she walked behind it and smiling at everyone who walked by.  I enjoyed interacting with her and just really watching her with no distractions…love time one-on-one with this girl!!  She’s a blast!
• The boys ate a HUGE tub of popcorn in the movie.  J never let his cup get past the half full mark without getting a refill from the huge tub.  Such a funny little guy!
• We than went to Dairy Queen with G-pops after the movie.  A blizzard is an amazing way to close out 2011!
• We all took a two-hour nap!  Amazing!
• Played games and hung out at home all afternoon/evening…OJ, the kid version of sequence is AMAZING!  Thank you!!
• Enjoyed seeing my cute little niece, Natalie, and her parents while watching the New Year’s Eve stuff on T.V.
• Had buffalo chicken cheese dip for dinner…one of my favorites!
• Caleb playing the guitar and serenading his sister while she soaked it up the WHOLE time!
• Rea crashed and went to bed…but the boys stayed up till midnight!!  It was J’s first year to do so!
• J kept saying “Merry Christmas!!” when we said “Happy New Year!”
• Drinking Sparkling Grape Juice and toasting with the boys and Matt
• Having a little midnight dance party (at Caleb’s request) that concluded in banging some pots and pans (a childhood tradition of mine)
• It was an amazing day!
• p.s. everyone slept in till 8:00 the next day…and that is big around here!

We love you guys and cant wait to hear how your “journey” continues in LA!  SEE YOU SOON!!!

There are so many moments we have shared together as friends, couples, and families that I have not shared with anyone else.  Starting a non-profit together and struggling to make paychecks, rejoicing as we saw God provide, knowing what each little thing truly meant as we were given to and as we gave away, living on the road together, sharing family drama, financial issues, loss, and marital stuff all has led to a friendship I hold sacred.  I’m sure there is a layer of  ”unhealth” in some ways of the friend ship we have derived at for being so closely intertwined.  We have known each other as couples and been there as we had each of our now six kids (combined).

We have had our drama, but grown through it all and learned to fight “for each other” rather than with one another.  In a lot of ways, it feels like she’s a part of me…and I just don’t know how I am going to make the days as bright without her.

This week is full of “lasts”.  The last girl’s night, the last family day, and last date night with our dear friends.  It sort of feels like the band-aid is slowly getting removed.  As I cried to my husband last night, and said  ”I just want it all to be over and the band-aid ripped off”, he of course challenged me.  Challenged me to not let my intimacy issues put up barriers, that are in defense of me getting hurt.

I am so thankful that I first and foremost am married to such an amazing man, that also happens to be my ultimate best friend and speaks wisdom into me.  There is nothing like being married to your best friend.

But in the same way there is a specialness in girl friends, and the truth is, I will be hurt.  It hurts to love so much and lose that, but he is right.  Anything worth while is worth the pain.  She is worth it.  Not dealing and facing this loss head on does not give the friendship we have created validation.

So, I choose to hang in there…allow the pain…allow the tears…and embrace not an “end” but just a “change” in my friendship to my beloved biatch.

I love you!

Christmas is just the most amazing day!  Not only do we get to wear pajamas all day (one of our traditions ), we spend it with family, receive joy from giving, watch our kids’ eyes light up, eat good food, and celebrate our savior’s birth.  I love it all!!  A few highlights from our day…

• Waking up at 6:00am with one really excited Caleb.  Who than “coughed” and “dropped” things in his room till his brother “woke” up.  We were opening presents at 6:30am…the joy and excitement on the boys faces was pure joy to our soul!
• Having our lil girl for Christmas!  Shoot, this time last year I was WAY preggo! Santa brought her a new brush in her stocking.  One of my favorite things is brushing her hair and talking with her after her bath. I love that I will have that task to do with her for years to come!
• Celebrating Matt’s grandmas’s 91 birthday!
• Sharing the day with BOTH of our sweet nieces
• Loved seeing BOTH our families
• Watching our boys go on a scavenger hunt for their big present and then trying to learn to drive
• Acting out the nativity scene with my siblings, their spouses, and my kids!  We did this growing up…and decided to reenact it for the first time in like 15 years.  It was hilarious!

We hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!!

Oh, and we had mostly 4th of July sprinkles.  Can we say…memories!?!